let me just preface this entry with this: i do not judge anybody by their religious beliefs whatsoever. i have come into contact with too many types that it just wouldn't make sense to attempt to ascertain the "most" correct one. moving on....
today i had 2 missionaries (lds) show up at my apartment. they live in our complex, i've seen them on their bikes several times. but now they are at my door. i could have chosen to not open the door, but i know they are trying to spread their beliefs because they feel very passionionate about it. my brother-in-law talmage is over in portugal doing this very thing. he sends home stories about the good and the bad and the very bad like when he got punched in the face by an old man who just didn't like missionaries and talmage hadn't even said anything.
the missionaries that were at my door were very polite, but they knew my name. and that freaked me out. i don't want to be on some list - i am very curious how they got my name. they wanted to come in a give me a lesson. first off i was home alone, not like they were going to try any funny businesses, but i was not comfortable with the idea of being here alone with two strange boys. secondly, i do not want a lesson. i respect their beliefs but they are not mine. i have had plenty of opportunities to learn what i want about their religion, my husband is mormon for crying out loud. although he falls under jack mormon these days.
so i politely told them that i would have to discuss it with my husband. they asked why. i said well, we do not go to church anymore. i wanted to say more like i don't agree with having to go to church to be religious or to express love for God. but i held my tongue and tried to leave it at that. they said what would your husband say about the lesson. i replied that i didn't know but i didn't think so. i told them that his brother is on his mission and he has another brother that served one too.
i kept thinking of poor talmage. how hard it must be to go door to door to strangers and try to express your faith. so i was nice to these missionaries, i asked them if they were having a hard time. if they didn't live near by i would have offered them some water or something (although i haven't cleaned my apartment yet this week, so it would have been a bit embarrassing). i thanked them for stopping by and that it was nice to meet them. they left their number and said again that they would like to come by to talk with us.
i was raised catholic. i had my first doubts about institutionalized religion when i was around 13-14. before that, all i had really known was catholic or that church across the high school with all the "saved" people. i was supposed to be confirmed when i was 15-16 and had been attending classes with the church. i went because my mom told me to and my brothers and sister had done the same. plus my friends went too. the night before my confirmation i told my mother that i didn't want to be confirmed. i wasn't sure i wanted to be catholic. this really hurt my mother. my mom is very strong in her beliefs and i love her for that. she at first thought it had something to do with me dating lincoln whose family is mormon. and honestly, the only thing that had to do with it was that they believed their religion is the correct one. so if they are correct, is everyone else wrong? and who decides which one is the correct one because each religion will say theirs is.
well, i got confirmed anyway. i kept going to church until i was about 18-19. then i would just attend with my family for christmas or baptisms, etc.
i do not consider myself catholic anymore. i do not associate myself with any religion. i refuse to believe that one could be more right than the other and that everyone who disagrees is wrong and will not make it to heaven or wherever they believe the will go after they die.
i believe in the lord, i love the lord, i believe in living by the commandments, i believe that the bible is a great life tool. but i do not need to go to a church to show this.
there is this movie - stigmata - with patricia arquette. her character is atheist yet gets the stigmata which is supposedly reserved for only the most devout believers. the story involves the lost gospels written by jesus christ himself that says that God is everywhere, not just in a church. so we can love him anywhere and everywhere. i know it is just some movie, but it sums up my feelings.
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