where does time go? feels like it is slipping away from me. each day just fades away, into the next. one minute your a kid, next you have your own. it scares me to think of how fast life goes by. i remember when my first nephew was born. now he is five. and a smart ass. my little brother is in high school. i am going to be graduating from college. i am flippin married! i love where i am at now but before i know it i will be an old woman.
linc and i talked the other night about what we would like to happen in case of certain situations. we both want to be organ donors and if we are "vegetables" we want the plugs pulled. but linc doesn't want to starve to death... what kinda talk is this when we are only 22? the future is just around the corner. and i am scared.
what defines us? is it our jobs? our education? our money? what really makes us who we are? my mom had to come up with something for the wigwam that not many people knew about her. she called me asking for some help. most of our ideas seemed to revolve around her kids. that she has 6 of them, 4 grown, and 3 grandchildren. or that she got her bachelors and masters degrees while having 4+ children. but then i got to thinking, especially since linc and i are talking about starting our own family soon. is my mother defined by being a mother? what about how smart she is, or her patience? i look at my mom and think of her as my friend just as much as a parent. i wish i could have know her in high school, i wonder if we would have been friends.
once i have a child, do i lose a part of myself? do i just become a mother, no longer melanie. if you think about it a mother even loses her name.
have i done all that i wanted to do with my life? my pre-mom life? i am 99% that answer is yes. things won't have to completely change once a child is brought into the picture. at first, it will be different, but then it will become the norm, and then i will be sad about the day when my children are ready to move out of the house.
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